Summer is almost here, and what could be better than eight funny stories bundled together in this great book? Containing tales by top, prize-winning authors David Solomons, Joanna Nadin, Candy Harper, Jonathan Meres, Steven Butler, Jeremy Strong, Steve Cole and William Butler, it’s a terrific holiday read.
So you know, Steven is the author of the bestselling The Diary Of Dennis The Menace and The Wrong Pong fiction series. His first novel, The Wrong Pong, was shortlisted for the prestigious Roald Dahl Funny Prize in 2009. Steven is also a successful performer and voice artist.
Take it away Steven!
When I was a little boy, my family had terrifically bad luck with summer holidays.
We kept having fires!! I know what you’re thinking. One fire is bad enough. It’s terrifying and dangerous and hot. Well… in the space of three holidays, we had three fires. See what I mean? TERRIFICALLY BAD LUCK!
Butler Family Fire No. 1: This one happened when I was about 6, and my family went camping in France. We were staying at a campground in the middle of a huge pine forest on the side of a mountain, and it was BEAUTIFUL. But… it quickly lost its beauty when there was a massive forest-fire. Mum and Dad threw us into the car, and we had to abandon our tents, driving as far away as we could get. We ended up staying in a hotel, miles away from our slowly cooking clothes and belongings.
Butler Family Fire No.2: The next year mum and Dad decided we were going to give camping in France another go. This time however, we stayed well away from pine forests on mountains, and booked into a sprawling horse ranch.
On the third day of our trip, my brother, my sister and myself were playing outside our tent, when we noticed an enormous cloud of black smoke rising into the air not very far away. Dad went off to investigate, but quickly came sprinting back screaming “GET IN THE CAR!”
There had been a fire in the stables and all the horses had broken loose and started a stampede. We just managed to clamber into the car and slam the doors before hundreds of them thundered past, squashing all the tents flat and destroying our belongings. ANOTHER BUMMER!
Butler Family Fire No.3: It’s safe to say my family never went camping in France again. The next summer, my Mum and Dad took us to the Canary Islands. It was hot… it was sunny… and it was full of mosquitoes. After a few days, we were all covered from head to toes in gnat bites and looked more like knobbly potatoes, than a human family. Luckily, Dad had a genius plan. He went to the local shops and bought a boxful of clever, little gadgets that plug into the wall and give off a smell that mosquitoes hate. Unluckily, when we were all asleep, these clever gadgets exploded and filled our villa with smoke. We had to crawl out on our hands and knees… and you guessed it… all our belongings and clothes were destroyed. Blackened like they’d been on the barbecue. ANOTHER BIG, BIG BUMMER!
The moral of this little blog is NEVER GO ON HOLIDAY WITH THE BUTLER FAMILY. IT’S TOO DANGEROUS… or if you HAVE to… bring flame-proof pants.
Thanks Steven and Simon & Schuster for including us in their tour! Coming up next is a post on Middlegradestrikesback.blogspot.com, so do check there tomorrow.